The best crappy bowl game ever

Virginia Tech has sold about half its allotment of 17,500 Sugar Bowl tickets. That's not good (duh) and has resulted in an embarrassing yet hilarious plea for fans/boosters to buy tickets even if they aren't going. Seriously:

Over the years, Virginia Tech has earned the reputation of being a football program that enjoys a strong following to bowl games. In order to maintain that recognition, the Athletics Department is asking Hokie fans that cannot make this year’s Allstate Sugar Bowl to consider purchasing proxy tickets. Tech Director of Athletics Jim Weaver, head football coach Frank Beamer, and the entire football coaching staff, will each be purchasing a pair of proxy tickets in order to support this initiative.

All proxy tickets will be distributed to military and charitable organizations. To order your proxy tickets, please log on to www.hokietickets.com or call the Athletics Ticket Office at (540) 231-6731 or 1-800 VA TECH4 (828-3244).

Translation: Give us some face-saving money plzkthx. Michigan might actually have the attendance advantage at a bowl game for the first time in the history of bowl games.

That would be my amusing bowl story of the day if not for East Carolina. East Carolina finished 5-7 and therefore obviously isn't playing in a bowl game. But somebody in the ECU athletic department realized that buying tickets to the OopsICrappedMyPants.com Bowl, buying tickets to a game you aren't going to and just giving money to your football program of choice are all pretty much the same thing and launched the best marketing campaign EVER:

The Pirate Club is excited to announce the 2011 Virtual Bowl. Our challenge will be to sell more tickets than our bowl-bound Conference USA opponents and bowl-bound teams from the Big East. The Virtual Bowl appeal will go through December 23.

Tickets for the Virtual Bowl are $50 a piece and can be purchase by calling the Pirate Club Offices at 252-737-4540 or by going online at ecupirateclub.com. Virtual Bowl tickets purchased will be tax deductable and donors will receive one priority point for every ticket purchased. All proceeds from the Virtual Bowl will go towards the “Step-Up To The Highest Level Campaign." Go Pirates!

I'm speechless. This is a total money-grabbing scam but is also awesome because of the somewhat-legitimate possibility that East Carolina will sell more tickets to an imaginary game (albeit at a lower price) than some schools will sell to actual bowl games.

I will have infinite respect for ECU's fan base if this happens. Make it so.