Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Tucson is lacking entertainment alternatives

Hoo boy, this sounds not good (beware extended blockquote):

Tucson Police Department officers arrested four UA football players after a fight at the home of five UA students early Friday morning.

According to police reports, sophomore cornerback Jourdon Grandon, sophomore offensive tackle Fabbians Ebbele and sophomore offensive lineman Eric Bender were arrested on charges of criminal trespassing in the first degree and assault, and sophomore safety Jared Tevis was arrested on trespassing charges. ...

According to police records, residents asked Tevis and the other players to leave because they were not invited. One of the men responded by shoving one of the women backwards. The man was later identified as former safety Joshua Robbins. After being shoved, the resident slapped Robbins, who then proceeded to punch her in the face — starting a brawl between the football players and members of the party.

The players left after the brawl, but before leaving said, “We will be back with our homies.” A short time later, the players returned “in a group of between 10 and 30,” and a man later identified as sophomore offensive tackle Fabbians Ebbele forcibly entered the home and “began punching everybody he could reach,” according to the report, including the resident who was initially assaulted and her brother.

People at the party told officers the UA players entered the home and began assaulting male members of the party while several women attempted to stop another fight from happening. One woman was pushed up against the wall by Robbins. Robbins continued to push other female guests and residents.

Members of the party identified Grandon after he “punched a female guest in her face with a closed fist and began punching other females in the face.” Tevis was also present during the altercation, but none of the victims observed him assaulting anyone.

Hilarious malfeasance bolded for emphasis. Visual interpretation:

Fat Tony = Fabbiens Ebbele. Creepy ninja in white suit = Jared Tevis. Jourdon Grandon lacks an appropriate comparison other than possibly Sean Connery circa 1987:

Insert kitchen joke here.

A little non-snark perspective: Ebbele was the starting left tackle last year, Grandon was a part-time starter headed for a full-time job at corner, Tevis was listed as a backup at safety and Bender was an unknown quantity. I use the past tense for those guys because ... I mean ... obviously. I'll be amazed if Ebbele and Grandon are still on the roster come fall camp unless the official version of the story changes dramatically; their losses (especially Ebbele's) wouldn't be insignificant.

On a directly related note, karma hates Rich Rodriguez. For whatever reason, hiring him portends immediate awfulness that is not at all his fault but is definitely going to happen. I can only assume that every goldfish he's ever owned died after 12 hours and he has that one really irritating canker sore that never totally goes away. Yeesh.


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