Gary Patterson handles losing pretty well

So ... TCU's disappointing season continued to disappoint with a disappointing 40-33 overtime loss at home to SMU on Saturday. It was TCU's first home loss in about three years, and Gary Patterson didn't handle it particularly well, turning into post-USF Brian Kelly throughout his Tuesday presser and generally sounding like he wanted to punch an infant.

He specifically targeted June Jones for his seemingly innocuous pregame comment that TCU hasn't "changed much over the years" (OMG THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS) and SMU receiver Darius Johnson for saying "I don't like these TCU people."

"He hasn't changed much either, so if we want to get into those kinds of matches. But, I don't go there," Patterson said. "All we've ever tried to do here at TCU is help SMU. At some point in time we were going to get beat by them, so we got beat by them. We've helped them, let them come over and talked to them about how we do things academically, how we do things at the stadium, how we do everything to try to make their program better and their way of thanking us for that is to cut us down."

Boom. Seems a bit harsh based on a fairly standard coachspeak comment that I heard literally dozens of times about Michigan under Lloyd Carr, especially since Patterson and Jones were presumably at least on decent terms if TCU had really been hosting SMU people to show them "how to make their program better" and whatnot. But there's more!

If the Big East really wants SMU, as has been rumored -- and it might since (a) the Big East is eternally desperate for survival and (b) SMU is an upscale school in the Dallas market with a little bit of meaningful tradition -- an invitation will have to go through Gary Patterson's cold, dead body:

"SMU has had a lot of help from us over the last three or four years to improve their program," Patterson said. "I don't appreciate being treated the way it is; that's how we got reciprocated. We're going to go on about our business, but they're not going to get the same help anymore -- not about a ballgame, not about conferences, not about anybody. They're getting no help from Gary Patterson, period.

"They shouldn't ask me at SMU about going into a conference, they shouldn't ask me about how they play, they shouldn't ask me about their players, they shouldn't ask me about anything because they're not getting any help, period, any more."

Gramatically incorrect third-person anger! That's the best kind! I bet Gary Patterson doesn't like it when Gary Patterson can't find Gary Patterson's limo.

Just to be clear, not everything is SMU's fault; I mean, it'd be totally unfair to let the officials off the hook, especially after Patterson (allegedly) was told by the WAC that the crew performed at a somewhat-less-than-great level.

"The key to it is I'd be quiet about it if I thought the people in charge of the officiating group came out and said it wasn't very good. But they didn't. I have a hard time with people that don't admit they made mistakes. I've got to do it all the time. When you're just going to be quiet about it and you think it's just all going to go away, it's not going to go away.

"I got their names," Patterson said of the officiating crew. "They won't come back in this stadium ever again."

Alrighty then.

The most terrifying part of all of this is that Patterson had 72 hours to calm down. I bet he was a delight right after the game. Fair warning to any and all local media: Losses make Gary Patterson SO MAD.