Catching up would prefer deadly Sarin nerve gas

Idaho hires a guy: That guy: Paul Petrino. You know who Paul Petrino is. As for what Paul Petrino is ... ummm ... yeah. His resume includes six years of O-coordinator-ing, the first three under his brother at Louisville when he wasn't calling plays and the last three under coaching legends Ron Zook at Illinois and John L. Smith at Arkansas. The results overall don't paint a picture of Bobby Petrino Equivalent: Arkansas (with Tyler Wilson returning and Knile Davis back after missing all of 2011) went from 29th to 56th in total offense and 15th to 89th in scoring with Paul calling plays instead of Bobby, and Illinois finished 85th in 91th in those categories in 2011 after peaking at 26th and 32nd in 2010 thanks to some Nate Scheelhaase/Mikel LeShoure running-game stuff.

That said, Idaho is Idaho and therefore is never, ever going to be good. The coaches before Robb Akey were Dennis Erickson and Tom Cable, both of whom actually did some worthwhile stuff elsewhere, and they collectively went something like 2-100 at Idaho. Stats:

In the 12 1/2 years since moving out of the Big West, Idaho -- despite having three good/widely respected coaches -- has gone 40-111 and has played in one bowl game, that the Humanitarian Bowl after somehow going 7-5 in 2009. 

So Idaho = doom. Idaho also might not even be in the FBS after this year since independence simply won't be sustainable for a team of zero national interest with zero TV revenue, although that would unquestionably be better for the program in every way. If that doesn't happen, Petrino will just end up being the latest in a lengthy line of guys to take over a crappy program, coach there for a few years, leave after going 8-28 and wish for a return to his previous locale, which wasn't in Idaho.

Potentially relevant tidbit: Petrino was an assistant at Idaho from 1992-94 (under John L. Smith, not so coincidentally), so at least he knows what he's getting himself into.

More coach-hiring muck for raking: Butch Jones is either staying at Cincinnati or going to Colorado, which offered him a five-year contract and a lot of money (and possibly weed) when he visited over the weekend:

Jones is expected to make a decision regarding whether to stay at Cincinnati or take the Colorado job at some point Tuesday. Sources said Purdue is no longer in the running.

The Denver Post reported Colorado has offered Jones a five-year, $13.5 million contract.

Purdue apparently has already moved on:

Kent State coach Darrell Hazell, who led the Golden Flashes to an 11-2 record this season, has been targeted as the top choice to replace Danny Hope at Purdue, sources told ESPN.

Purdue is expected to make a decision by Wednesday.

And on a tangentially related note, Boston College reportedly has three finalists for its vacant job:

Notre Dame defensive coordinator Bob Diaco, Ball State coach Pete Lembo and New Orleans Saints offensive line coach Aaron Kromer are finalists for the Boston College job, sources told ESPN's Brett McMurphy on Tuesday. 

That is all.

The end for Jerry Moore: Appalachian State coach Jerry Moore retired this week after 24 years that included three I-AA/FCS national titles, seven conference titles in the last eight years, eight straight playoff appearances and (redacted).His overall record: 242-135-2. That's a lot of wins; he's actually 15th on the all-time list, which ... like ... dang.

I know nothing of Appalachian State as an institution (except it's HOT HOT HOT); still, given the three national titles in the last decade and the bajillion wins over the last 20 years, I have to imagine it's one of the better FCS jobs in the country and therefore a debatably better job than the one at Idaho. Beyond that, I can only hope Moore's retirement will mean even fewer references to (redacted).

MOAR QUARTERBACKS: Jesse Scroggins, aka Matt Barkley's former backup at USC, is transferring to Arizona via El Camino College. Scroggins was a relatively big-time recruit back in 2010 (of course he was), won the backup job as a redshirt freshman in 2011, missed some various offseason stuff due to academic shenanigans, hurt his hip in an August scrimmage and then got usurped on the depth chart while injured; he never actually threw a pass at USC before transferring last offseason.

FWIW, Scroggins is considered more a passer than a runner. Scout said he had "arguably the biggest arm in the country" and "can run but is much more comfortable in the pocket," and the numbers at El Camino this past year generally back that up: He had 56 rushing yards on 42 carries (not that terrible when factoring in sacks) and completed 45.7 percent of his passes (?) with eight touchdowns and five interceptions.

This is all significant because Scroggins might be the starter next year. Matt Scott is out of eligibility, leaving former juco transfer and 2012 backup B.J. Denker as the only guy on the roster with either experience or any significant recruiting profile. Denker has only the former (and not a lot of it) because he played some in mop-up duty and started against Colorado when Scott was hurt. His numbers for the year: 25 for 37 with three touchdowns and a pick to go along with 20 carries for 74 yards.

So neither guy will be the running threat Scott was; that shouldn't be as much of an issue as it might usually be with Rich Rodriguez, though, because Scott only carries about nine times a game and deferred a lot of the running-game stuff to Ka'Deem Carey, hence 1,757 yards and a shot at 2,000 in the bowl game. The bigger issue will be accuracy in the passing game, which Scott provided on the regular. Getting that from either (or both) guys next year will be necessary for UA to stay in the vicinity of the top 10 in total offense, which is probably what will be necessary for another bowl game given that Jeff Casteel is gonna need some time to put out the tire fire on defense.

The best thing ever: Spencer/Orson (of EDSBS relevance) wins the internet with his "EVERY BOWL GAME RANKING" that features pretty much everything that makes Spencer/Orson awesome. An excerpt:

17. Capital One: Georgia vs. Nebraska. The Richt Bowl Game factor wipes out any guarantees of Nebraska splashing eight yards backwards at the snap like they did in the Big Ten title game. Then again, even if Bo Pelini's defense scatters like London orphans during the Blitz in the bowl game, it was still gripping viewing because my god what the hell happened to Nebraska. Taylor Martinez is entertaining, as well, mostly because there's at least three Taylor Martinezes, and they are all delightful to watch.

And one more:

Yesssss. Just stop reading this and click here.